i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
