he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
