He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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