Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
