jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
