No stitches, just platelets and will power
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
