so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
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