i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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