I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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