if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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