Please don't use social media to get back at me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
