Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
