how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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