do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
