I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize