I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
