just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
