I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
