i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
