i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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