...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
only you would photoshop your dick
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize