it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
