Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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