The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
