I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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