Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize