she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
