Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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