just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
