piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize
