i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
