ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
