i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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