the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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