If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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