how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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