I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize