Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
