OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
