; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
