She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
