Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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