Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
