you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
