whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
