P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
