Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
