so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Randomize
