I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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