I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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