dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
