i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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