Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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