SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
