RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
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