I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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