apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
He called his prostate his "boner button".
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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