Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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