i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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