glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
