You're my little dorito
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize