That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
