The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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