She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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