I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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