OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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