Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
