theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
