I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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