wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
