Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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