Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You made out with two different species that night
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
