You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
