margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
This is classic penis vs brain.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
