i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
